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Plan on it, expect it, but remain firm. Remember, your behavior must match the boundaries you are setting. You cannot successfully establish a clear boundary if you send mixed messages by apologizing.

Do it anyway and tell yourself you have a right to protect yourself. Setting boundaries takes practice and determination. Listen to yourself, determine what you need to do or say, then communicate assertively. It is a process. Set them in your own time frame, not when someone else tells you.

Eliminate toxic people from your life—those who want to manipulate, abuse, and control you. Establishing healthy boundaries and enforcing them builds self-worth and confidence—all very sexy qualities. I hope you take the time this week to put into practice some of the above ideas. Please share any insight, and even struggles, so we can support each other right here.

Dear Terri, I do have a problem setting bounderies because I feel people have a tendency to take advantage of me. And since I have 3 sisters and 2 brothers it is not an easy job keeping things calm. Not to mention I get no help with the care of my mom. I have my own family that keeps me at my wits end with all their disagreements. And most of the time Tracey is at the bottom of the issue. I have always been there for Tracey and I will never turn my back on her.

Where do I draw the bounderies? Where do I start? Love Sharon. Try to start listening without offering ANY suggestions to anyone-try to stop talking about family members who are not present. Terri, I am honestly going to try to do something everyday that I like to do. I love to scrapbook and I have a room with all my stuff, so at one point in the day I am going to sit down and work on it. I also like to work in my flower beds so I want to thank you for the advice and I am really going to try to do what you said and see how it goes. Thanks again, I will let you know how things go!

Take care, Sharon. Such great information. This is the kind of thing we sort of know, but let slide. Thank you for the great reminder, with such great examples. Robin- So glad this tip resonated with you. I love reading anything about setting healthy boundaries. For the longest time, my relationship has been plagued with unhealthy boundaries and I only realized this lately.

It manifested itself with my self-harm and depression issues. I am an avid reader of your weekly newsletters and I try to take away as much as I can from your tune-up tips. However, how do I distance myself from codependency?

Friends or Friendly – The importance of relationship boundaries -

What more can I do? Does it just take time? Is it because I am still healing? So exciting that you are doing this deep work to take control of your happiness and your life.

9 Boundaries You Should Have In Your Friendships, According To Experts

Yes it takes time and you are in transition. But the more you stop yourself from taking an action you KNOW is unhealthy fixing for another person etc the easier it becomes and the feelings of discomfort fade away. It becomes your new normal and you will feel better and have much more energy to pour into your own life. I am cheering you on like a wild maniac!! I believe this is extreme intrusion into my boundaries. Pl help on handling this situation….

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I think it can be difficult to live with someone who has too distant boundaries — they will not share anything with you. My ex and I were married for 37 years and I essentially gave up trying to be an insider in his world. He did not share anything.

Friend or Friendly?

The most honest conversation he had with me was 1 week after he filed for divorce. I think we can be open and honest, share ourselves, yet not give out our email password and have someone in our face. I hope to have a real relationship with a normal male sometime…..

go to site You are giving people hope and confidence that is so needed. The freedom and self-empowerment was incredible and has lasted the last 17 years. This is SO important. Thank you for reminding me to set more of them. Thank you for your time, Lisa. Lisa- Welcome to our groovy community! I enjoy your readings…they keep me grounded with loving myself and taking care of me. Thank you for this information.

You mention the fact that reading your partners emails is not respecting boundaries. I have had this issue with my partner, who will be moving in with me soon, returning to the country from a long stay abroad.

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  4. I have honestly never opened any emails with any of the people I know e. Are we both having problems with emotional boundaries that are colliding in this case? Dear Jorn, Thank you for sharing your story here with us.

    Fight Fake Friends

    Yes you are both struggling with drawing and respecting appropriate boundaries. What is impressive is that you can discuss it together. It sounds like your partner may have a bit of The Disease to Please or is feeling some commitment fear or both. Check out my blog on Curing the Disease to Please and make a pact that neither of you will violate the others privacy by reading emails not addressed to you.

    Agree on transparency then set up a weekly time to check in over a cup of tea about how it is going. In these meetings you can create space to grow together and a safe space to be honest. We both are really struggling financially.

    Thank goodness he currently has 3 homes he is working on. One house he is fixing a roof on, there are wonderful ferns growing on the roof.